I finally graduated with a Master's in Social Work! One of my dreams (graduating with a MSW) came true despite the many obstacles I had to overcome while attempting to complete graduate school from sleepless nights to juggling motherhood. I did not want my son to feel neglected. It was very difficult especially because we co-slept at the time and he would constantly wake up whenever he did not feel me by his side. He would walk over to my laptop and say, "Mommy, come mimi's with me". This made graduate school 1000 X's harder for me. My parents were my biggest support system and I'll be forever grateful because I wouldn't be where I am right now if it weren't for them. I decided to blog again because I want to continue making an impact. I'm not sure how many people will actually read this or if anyone will, but God has really placed this in my heart as I continue to ask him, "In what ways can I impact bereaved parents/family members, single mothers, divorced mothers, and anyone in need of comforting words". They say only those who have lost a loved one or truly experienced the traumatic event truly know the pain. This might sound out of the norm, but I'm very passionate when it comes to the topics of grief and death and just hearing others talk about their loss, mentioning their loved ones name, and how much of an impact that's had on their life. It's been 5 years since my daughter passed away and life has gotten easier. This does not mean I no longer have any obstacles. I've had way too many obstacles from graduate school, marital problems that led to divorce, financial problems, emotional instability, etc. The list goes on, but I'm not here to discuss my problems I am here to let you and others know that YOU ARE IN CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE. Regardless of the amount of obstacles you've had to overcome in order to be where you are at the moment, you are here right now and there's a purpose. At the moment of difficulty, it might be very hard to see the positive side of things, but DON'T GIVE UP. I promise things will get better, no matter how hard things may seem at the moment, it will pass. Life isn't always easy. I learned the hard way, I wish I would've known this sooner. I wish someone would've shared this with me and this is why I want to share my blog with you. I will discuss other important topics such as the effects of divorce, the things others don't tell you about pregnancy, breastfeeding, co-parenting, faith, etc.
In Honor of Kaylen Faith I will IMPACT LIVES!
You are not a lone, regardless of the difficult situation you are in I want you to know that you are not a lone. I lost a child too. I am divorced too. I was homeless too. My grief may not be the same as yours. We all grief and cope differently. I like to journal and write down my feelings/thoughts/epiphanies. I wrote a lot of short poems and Haikus in memory of my daughter, but I know that this is not everyone's way of coping. Don't lose hope, things will get better.
I've finally come into realization of "traumatic growth". I've learned to view my loss as a positive impact in my life. I've grown in several ways (spiritually, mentally, emotionally) ever since Kaylen Faith passed. I've learned to get out of my comfort zone and reach out to my loved one's when a loved one has passed whether it's a grandmother, grandfather, mother, father, or child like myself. I know God chose me so that I can bring light into the lives of others during their time of darkness. I want to empower grieving individuals especially during this time of major tragedies occurring around the world such as hurricanes, fires, Las Vegas shooting, etc.
"Sheryl Stiles, the mother of an off-duty Las Vegas police officer who was killed during the shooting dies the weekend of her son's funeral due to a heart attack according to CNN. Her brother stated she wasn't doing well emotionally (Seraaj & Zdanowicz, 2017)." It's in times of darkness that we need to reach out to others. Sheryl needed a loved one to comfort her during her time of need. Don't wait for your best friend/sister/loved one to seek you when you know she's going through a difficult time in her/his life. It is your duty to call or text them and just "be there" for them. I'm saying this through experience. No one tells us how to cope after a death, it's not something we learn in school. We may have learned about the stages of grief in school, but no model will define your "grief" your grief is unique. Only you know the amount of pain, denial, anger, and/or depression you feel after losing a loved one. There is no time limit for grief, no instruction manual on how to grief, we just learn to cope with the loss. My goal is to instill hope by sharing how I have found peace and happiness in my own life despite unforeseen circumstances.
